1: Evening the odds : lessons for finding a mate. Follow your heart ; Follow your head ; Values come first ; You're marrying a family ; Three warning signs ; Five secrets for choosing your partner -- 2: Communication is the key. Talk, talk, talk ; No one is a mind reader ; Mind your manners ; All in good time ; Three danger signs ; Five secrets for great communication -- 3: Getting through the hard parts. Children: put your relationship first ; Work-family stress: make your home a safe haven ; In-laws: on good terms, without surrender ; Household chores: play to your strengths ; Money: deal with debt ; Five secrets for managing stress -- 4: Keeping the spark alive. Think small (and positive) ; Become friends ; Sexuality--the spark changes ; Give up grudges ; Get help ; Five secrets for keeping the spark alive -- 5: Thinking like an expert about love and marriage. Respect each other ; Be a team ; Make time ; Lighten up ; Accept your partner as is ; The last lesson: As long as you both shall live

" From the author of the beloved 30 Lessons for Living Karl Pillemer's 30 Lessons for Living first became a hit and then became a classic. Readers loved the sage advice and great stories from extraordinary older Americans who shared what they wish they had known when they were starting out. Now, Pillemer returns with lessons on one of the most talked- about parts of that book-love, relationships, and marriage. Based on the most detailed survey of long married people ever conducted, 30 Lessons for Loving shows the way to lifelong, fulfilling relationships. The author, an internationally renowned gerontologist at Cornell University, offers sage advice from the oldest and wisest Americans on everything from finding a partner, to deciding to commit, to growing old together. Along the way, the book answers questions like these: How do you know if the person you love is the right one? What are the secrets for improving communication and reducing conflict? What gets you through the major stresses of marriage, such as child-rearing, work, money issues, and inlaws? From interviews with 700 elders, 30 Lessons for Loving offers unique wisdom that will enrich anyone's relationship life, from people searching for the right partner to those working to keep the spark alive after decades together. Filled with great stories, wise observations, and useful advice, 30 Lessons for Loving is destined to become another classic"--

"Karl Pillemer asked hundreds of extraordinary men and women to share their hard-earned wisdom about love and what it takes to build a lasting, happy marriage. It is not only the largest study of its kind ever conducted, but also the most diverse, deliberately including people from varying religions, ethnic backgrounds, and income levels, gay and lesbian couples, unmarried couples in long-term relationships, and even individuals whose marriages were unhappy or ended in divorce"--