"Jen Spyra has worked in nearly every kind of comedy there is: penning stories for The Onion, writing skits and one-liners for The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, contributing pieces to The New Yorker and McSweeney's, and taking the stage for improv at UCB Theater in Manhattan. Her incredible range is on display in this uproarious, addictive collection of short stories that include a twisted exchange between a wealthy New York woman and the child she is sponsoring in Ecuador, a disturbingly hilarious tale about just how far one woman will go to achieve the perfect wedding body, a civil war soldier's far-too-forthcoming letters home, and a reimagining of a Christmas classic in which the snowman who comes to life turns out to be a real pervert"--

Bridal body -- First influencer -- Snowman -- Dinner at eight -- Birthday girl -- My dearest Caroline -- Adventure of the mistaken right swipe -- Monster goo -- One thousand and one nights -- First kid, second kid -- Boyfriend identity -- Secret meeting of the women's club -- Tale of Mr. Mittlebury, Millennial pig -- Big time