"With a new chapter on raising children in a post-pandemic, digital world!" -- Cover

"This parenting classic is as relevant today as it was when it was first published, shining a light on one of the most misunderstood trends of our time: how the influence of peers, magnified by social media and video game culture, is replacing parents in the lives of children, and what parents can do about it--now featuring a new chapter. WINNER OF THE NATIONAL PARENTING PUBLICATIONS GOLD AWARD • "A worthy book that brings us genuinely new ideas and fresh perspectives on parenting."--Mary Pipher, Ph.D., author of Reviving Ophelia. Children take their lead from their friends: Being "cool" matters more than anything else. Shaping values, identity, and codes of behavior, peer groups are often far more influential than parents. But this situation is far from natural, and it can be dangerous--it undermines family cohesion, interferes with healthy development, and fosters a hostile and sexualized youth culture. Children end up becoming conformist, anxious, and alienated. In Hold on to Your Kids, acclaimed physician and bestselling author Gabor Maté joins forces with psychologist Gordon Neufeld to pinpoint the causes of this breakdown and offer practical advice on how to "reattach" to your children and earn back their loyalty and love. By helping to reawaken our instincts, Neufeld and Maté empower parents to be what nature intended: a true source of enrichment, security, and warmth for their children." --

"Originally published in hardcover and in different form in Canada by Alfred A. Knopf, Canada, a division of Penguin Random House of Canada, in 2004 and subsequently in the United States by Ballantine Books, an imprint of Random House, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, in 2005. A trade paperback edition with a new postscript was published by Vintage Canada, a division of Penguin Random House of Canada, in 2013." -- Tile page verso

pt. 1. The phenomenon of peer orientation -- 1. Why parents matter more than ever -- 2. Skewed attachments, subverted instincts -- 3. Why we've come undone -- pt. 2. Sabotaged: how peer orientation undermines parenting -- 4. The power to parent is slipping away -- 5. From help to hindrance: when attachment works against us -- 6. Counterwill: why children become disobedient -- 7. The flatlining of culture -- pt. 3. Stuck in immaturity: how peer orientation stunts healthy development -- 8. The dangerous flight from feeling -- 9. Stuck in immaturity -- 10. A legacy of aggression -- 11. The making of bullies and victims -- 12. A sexual turn -- 13. Unteachable students -- pt. 4. How to hold on to our kids (or how to reclaim them) -- 14. Collecting our children -- 15. Preserve the ties that empower -- 16. Discipline that does not divide -- pt. 5. Preventing peer orientation -- 17. Don't court the competition -- 18. Re-create the attachment village -- pt. 6. A postscript for the digital age (how to hold on to kids in the era of internet, cell phones, and video games) --19. The digital revolution bent out of shape -- 20. A matter of timing - 21. In wake of the pandemic: peer orientation and the youth mental health crisis - Acknowledgments -- Glossary

Argues that the growing phenomenon of peer orientation is undermining family cohesion and explains how parents and teachers can reverse the trend to serve as a source of guidance, love, and security for children. This updated edition also specifically addresses the unprecedented parenting challenges posed by the rise of digital devices and social media