Introduction -- How to use this book -- Section 1: Putting birds where they belong -- Section 2: The birds -- A flock of a-holes -- Conceited bastards -- Headaches with feathers -- Wastes of feathers -- Creeps and weirdos -- Fuck I hate these birds -- Losers -- The horror, the horror -- Section 3: And another thing... -- Bird feet: Everything you never wanted to know -- Identifying a bird's primary character defect -- Emotional tools for bird-watchers -- Section 4: Oh, you wanted a geographical index -- Here's your goddamn index

"A parody birding book listing 50 of the worst birds in the world"--